Adult ADHD and Perfectionism: Understanding the Link
Rainbow of colored pencils, sharpened and lined up.
Adult ADHD and perfectionism are not words most people think would belong together. Contrary to what some might believe, these two concepts are often intertwined.
Perfectionism is the tendency to set high standards for oneself and strive for flawlessness. We typically associate perfectionism with being perfect; nothing is out of place, everything lines up, and there are no loose ends.
Some common hallmarks of ADHD are:
Disorganization
Difficulty sustaining attention
Creativity
High stress tolerance
The ability to hold multiple goals at once
Hyperfocusing
Being easily distracted
Difficulty prioritizing
Emotional overwhelm
High energy
Thoughtful
While there are many facets to people with ADHD, if you’re having this lived experience, you may see some of the challenges that pop up when perfectionism gets mixed in with ADHD brains.
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is the tendency to set high standards for oneself and strive for flawlessness. We typically associate perfectionism with being perfect. Nothing is out of place. Everything lines up as it should. There are no loose ends.
Perfectionism is a cognitive distortion that can manifest in different ways, such as procrastination, negative self-image, and fear of failure. Perfectionism can be both a coping mechanism and a source of anxiety for adults with ADHD leading to a cycle of procrastination, frustration, and self-doubt.
Adults with ADHD often struggle with executive function skills, such as planning, prioritizing, and organizing, making it harder to meet their own expectations. This can lead to a sense of failure and self-criticism, which can further exacerbate their maladaptive perfectionism.
While perfectionism is not a diagnostic criteria for ADHD, it is a common trait that can impact the lives of adults with ADHD. Understanding the link between ADHD and perfectionism can help people with ADHD develop coping strategies and seek appropriate treatment. This article will explore the relationship between adult ADHD and perfectionism, its impact on daily life, and ways to manage it.
Understanding Adult ADHD
Symptoms of Adult ADHD
Adult ADHD, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects approximately 4.4% of adults in the United States. The symptoms of ADHD can vary from person to person, but they generally fall into two categories: inattention and hyperactivity/impulsivity.
Some common symptoms of inattention include:
Difficulty paying attention to details
Making careless mistakes
Difficulty sustaining attention
Difficulty following through on tasks
Losing things easily
Being easily distracted
Some common symptoms of hyperactivity/impulsivity include:
Fidgeting or squirming
Difficulty staying seated
Excessive talking
Difficulty waiting their turn
Interrupting others
Impulsivity
Causes of Adult ADHD
The exact causes of adult ADHD are not fully understood, but research has suggested that genetics, brain chemistry, and environmental factors may all play a role. Studies have shown that ADHD tends to run in families and specific genes may increase the risk of developing the disorder. Brain imaging studies have also shown differences in the brain structure and function of people with ADHD.
Environmental factors, such as exposure to toxins during pregnancy or early childhood, may also increase the risk of developing ADHD. Other factors that may contribute to the development of ADHD include premature birth, low birth weight, and brain injuries.
It is important to note poor parenting, too much screen time, or lack of discipline do not cause ADHD. These factors may exacerbate symptoms, but they do not cause ADHD.
Perfectionism and its Relationship with Adult ADHD
Definition of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by setting excessively high standards for oneself and others and striving for flawlessness in all aspects of life. People with perfectionistic tendencies often feel strongly dissatisfied with their performance, regardless of the result, and may be overly critical of themselves and others.
Perfectionism can be adaptive or maladaptive.
Traits of adaptive perfectionism include:
Recognizes their own strengths and challenges
Avoids excessive self-criticism
Strives for success
Sees failure as a way to renew efforts and learn from mistakes
Some traits of maladaptive perfectionism include:
Sees mistakes as character flaws
Highly self-critical
Emotional avoidance, especially negative emotions
Avoids failure
How Perfectionism Affects Adult ADHD
Perfectionism, characterized in mental health terms, is a common cognitive distortion known as “all-or-nothing” thinking.
For example, individuals with ADHD may procrastinate because conditions are not "just right," or they may struggle with a negative self-image due to their inability to meet their own high standards.
Both styles of perfectionism, adaptive and maladaptive, can magnify and be magnified by the core features of ADHD, such as impulsivity, distractibility, and hyperactivity.
When perfectionism shows up this way, it can lead to difficulties in completing tasks, following through on plans, and maintaining relationships.
It is important to note that not all individuals with ADHD exhibit perfectionistic tendencies, and not all perfectionists have ADHD. However, when present together, perfectionism and ADHD can create a challenging dynamic impacting many aspects of an individual's life.
It may be helpful to seek professional support, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, or medication from your doctor, to manage the possible adverse effects of perfectionism and ADHD. Additionally, practicing self-compassion and setting realistic goals can help individuals with ADHD and perfectionistic tendencies achieve success and satisfaction in their lives.
Challenges of Living with Adult ADHD and Perfectionism
Adults with ADHD often struggle with perfectionism, which can lead to various challenges in daily life. These challenges can include difficulties with prioritization, decision-making, and relationships.
Struggles with Prioritization
Adults with ADHD and perfectionism may find it challenging to prioritize tasks, leading to procrastination and difficulty completing what is essential on the to-do list. They may also struggle with time management, leading to missed deadlines and increased stress.
One way to address this challenge is to break down larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Focusing on one step at a time can help individuals with ADHD and perfectionism feel accomplished as they complete each step.
Difficulty with Decision-Making
Individuals with ADHD and perfectionism may struggle with decision-making. They may become overwhelmed by the number of options available or feel anxious about making the wrong choice.
One strategy to address this challenge is to set clear goals and priorities. Having a goal and knowing one's priorities will help individuals with ADHD and perfectionism narrow their options and make more informed decisions. Seeking support from a therapist or coach can also help develop decision-making skills.
Relationship Issues
Perfectionism can impact relationships for individuals with ADHD. They may struggle with communication and have difficulty expressing their needs and emotions. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflict with partners, family members, and friends.
One way to address this challenge is to practice active listening and communication skills. To practice this, repeat what the other person has said to ensure understanding and expressing oneself clearly and assertively.
Sign with text, “Kindness Matters.”
Treatment Options for Adult ADHD and Perfectionism
Therapy
Therapy can be an effective treatment option for adults with ADHD and perfectionism. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common type of therapy used to treat ADHD and perfectionism. CBT helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors contributing to perfectionism.
It can also help individuals develop coping strategies for managing symptoms of ADHD.
Mindfulness-based therapies are also supportive and helpful for ADHD and perfectionism. This type of therapy focuses on developing awareness of one's thoughts and feelings in the present moment. It can help individuals with ADHD and perfectionism become more aware of their perfectionistic tendencies and learn to let go of unrealistic expectations.
For some folks, perfectionist tendencies may be the result of trauma. It could be that a parent, teacher or caregiver never accepted anything less than perfect, or was very critical and lacked warmth in their feedback. While cognitive-based and mindfulness therapies are not the only therapies that can help with perfectionist tendencies, it’s recommended to consult with a mental health professional to determine appropriate care.
Medication
Medication can also be an effective treatment option for ADHD. Stimulant medications, such as Adderall and Ritalin, are commonly prescribed to treat ADHD. These medications can help improve focus and reduce impulsivity, which can be life-changing for ADHDers.
Non-stimulant medications, such as Strattera, may also be prescribed. These medications work differently than stimulants and can be helpful for individuals who cannot take stimulants due to side effects or other medical conditions.
Speaking with your psychiatrist or primary care physician is great for getting more information tailored to your unique symptoms.
Lifestyle Changes
In addition to therapy and medication, lifestyle changes can also help manage symptoms of ADHD and perfectionism.
Lifestyle changes for ADHD and perfectionism include:
Regular exercise as it can improve focus and reduce impulsivity
Eating a healthy diet regularly
Getting enough sleep
Breaking down tasks into smaller, more manageable steps
Using tools like calendars, to-do-lists, and reminders to manage time
Practicing self-compassion
Hope for ADHD and Perfectionism
Living with ADHD and perfectionism can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Seeking help and treatment can make a significant difference in managing symptoms and improving your quality of life.
Neither ADHD nor perfectionism are character flaws or things you need to cure.
Be kind to yourself. Celebrate your strengths and work on accepting your challenges.
With the right tools and support, you can learn to not only manage your ADHD symptoms and perfectionistic tendencies but thrive in your personal and professional life and achieve your goals.
Don’t hesitate to seek help; and know that you deserve to live a happy and fulfilling life.